AJARIN CARA MOVE ON GBLK :'(
When i first saw you i was very happy but at the same time i was so scared i had spent months on reading books and articles online on how to take care of you.Since i was not lucky enough to have my mom on my side , i tried reading everything possible about newborns and how to handle them and was keeping my fingers crossed that i had done enough research.I saw your face for the first time in the operation theater ,i could hardly see anything since i was sedated and was really scared and you were swollen and red.Nobody had told me that newborns looked that way just after their birth.i didnt see you properly for first three days.i was in pain and was also suffering with depression.I finally saw your face properly after i started breastfeeding you after three days.it was middle of the night and you were sleeping next to me,as advised by the doctor to enhance my milk production.I looked at you ,you were not crying and you stared at me instead,i can never for that look for the rest of my life.you had so much love and hope in your eyes,at that moment it felt like we were the only two people in this world.
It has been eleven months since you were born,now i feel much more confident than before. You have turned out to be a velcro baby,always sticking with your mom,you accompany me to my workplace my workshop even in my important meetings.People keep telling me that its not right,i should not keep you with myself all the time and that i should stop breastfeeding you now.
I don't tell people about my battle with depression and time when i was had decided to leave you behind forever.they don't know the only reason i wake up on the morning is you.i know you are a special baby,you don't cry like normal babies and you communicate all your needs with me since you were born.I manage you all alone because there is something special about you.
I don't care what people tell me,you can hang on my waist as long as you want,you can breastfeed as longs as you want and you can stick with your mom all the time if that is what makes you feel safe.
Mothers give life to their children but in my case you my son have given life to me.